I had so much fun with my last post on unexpected pregnancy side effects that I decided to follow up with round two! Now that I’m further into the third trimester, I am even more cranky so here goes a slightly more irritated set of issues.
1. Your wardrobe gets smaller…and smaller…and smaller…
A few weeks ago, it occurred to me that stores need two sections: first and second trimester clothes and third trimester clothes. A lot of the cute tops I enjoyed wearing a few months ago just don’t fit anymore or are simply indecent for most environments.
I was lucky to score a lot of hand-me-down maternity clothes from a variety of sources (thanks to my mother-in-law!) and haven’t bought much. A few pieces really appealed to me, like this red dress:
When I first got it, I thought "ooh! This is so cute, I can keep wearing it even when I’m not pregnant!"
HA! I have worn that dress so many times that I cannot fathom wearing it a day longer than necessary. All my maternity clothes get the stink-eye from me before I get dressed. Looking at Pinterest, I shed a tiny tear when I see nipped-in waists and shift-style dresses. I cannot wait to start wearing the rest of my outfits and go shopping for normal clothes again.
2. Sleeping becomes an aerobic activity.
Pregnant ladies aren’t allowed to sleep on their backs. Pregnant ladies can’t sleep on their stomachs (this should be glaringly obvious). Pregnant ladies have to sleep on their sides. If you’re a side sleeper, you know what that means: you have to change sides every so often because the one you’re lying on just isn’t the comfy side. Well, that can be difficult at the best of times but during late pregnancy, it means literally thrashing yourself by degrees onto the opposite side, kicking your legs to get rid of cramping, and forcibly re-arranging the body pillow until it lays perfectly. Many apologies to my long-suffering husband.
3. Getting out of bed becomes an Olympic sport.
After an extremely restful night of flailing about, getting up every 3.5 hours to pee, nothing is better than greeting the morning by having to slowwwwwly lean to the side, grip something firmly, and hoist yourself up into a standing position. Sometimes I feel like a pillbug or an over-turned tortoise. It just isn’t the same as leaping nimbly to my feet like in the pre-pregnancy days.
Oh, the heartburn. Nothing like choosing between lying down to prop your feet up to ease the swelling, only to feel like acid is destroying your internal organs, or sitting up to keep your meal digesting in the right direction and having your feet swell even bigger. So glorious!
5. Small feelings of finality, also known as, "Should I do things spontaneously while I still can?"
Let’s be honest: I’m too much of a type-A to be truly spontaneous about anything. But I still have tiny moments of panic where I think, "Maybe I should see a movie! By myself! Because I’ll never get to do things like that spur-of-the-moment ever again!" But generally, I just end up staying at home, lurking on Pinterest.
6. Loving the pool like it’s my job.
As a kid, my ideal day at the pool involved hiding myself under a towel (literally, my entire body enveloped in a big Sam’s Club pool towel), reading a book. I still love a good poolside read but nothing feels as good as getting into the water after a long day at work or just all day on Saturday. The weightlessness is incredible, my feet get a chance to relax, and everything is beautiful again. I can’t imagine being pregnant in the summertime and NOT having pool access. I would cry.
Despite some people’s exclamations of "oh, you’re still pregnant?" (YES, OBVIOUSLY), I still have 7 weeks to go. Here’s to staying cool, mentally and physically, until August 18 (or thereabouts).